Who are we kidding; most resolutions are dying on the vine two weeks into the New Year push, right?
And it’s already January 6th, but that’s not going to stop us from publishing this sarcastic snippet of satirical social dental substance.
With the interest of breaking some resolutions and still promoting social-centric dental health info, here is a list of the Top 5 dental health resolutions we can (should) all feel free to break this year.
1. Brush 1x per Day
2. Never Floss
3. Drink Copious Amounts of Coffee & Smoke Cigarettes Like it’s the Roaring ‘20s
4. Ditch the Dentist
5. Keep Our Dentist to Ourselves
Can we not see the folly behind such proclamations?
Maybe we’ve lost it altogether, and the weight of the Holidays has led us to succumb to stupid suggestions.
No more feeling guilty for not keeping up with the exercise regimen, no more beating ourselves up for not taking care of that rotten tooth, no – not in 2012.
This year we can all take comfort in the fact that if we ignore our dental health; our overall physical health will suffer too.
But in no way will we brush our teeth twice a day; if we cut out just 2 minutes each day, that amounts to an additional 730 minutes we can devote to binge eating and continuing the sedentary lifestyle.
Forget about flossing, what is the attraction there?
Gum disease, red bleeding gums, bad breath, periodontitis, receding gums…all sounds peachy to us!
Bring on the coffee and smokes.
In fact, make it a triple-dipped all-foam all-fat double latte – Venti, por favore; and add the acrid accoutrement with a nice smooth Marlboro Red finish.
Mmmm…Welcome the flavor country!
If that’s not something to wake up to every morning, who knows what is. And who cares what some doctor says!?!
Speaking of which, why visit the dentist once a year, never mind twice a year?
Eventually, all 32 teeth – or what’s left of them by the time we get done with ‘em – will just rot right out of our heads.
Ipso facto, we no longer need to see the dentist…an estate planner perhaps, but certainly not any dentist!
So, if we resolve to; not even brush our teeth enough to keep away the cavity creeps, forget the floss, pound smokes and joe like it’s a job, stay away from our trusted neighborhood dentist, we certainly can’t be relied upon to share this same local dentist with friends and family.
They can fend for themselves when it comes to ignoring their own dental health.
Let them suffer with everyone else out there that deals with dental anxiety, shoddy toothworkmanship, exorbitant health care related fees, and revolving door family dentistry.
We’d rather spend the money meant for our oral health on something more enduring, like a HDTV.
For all we care, our friends and families can go grab a ticket abroad for their dental care…