Is The Tooth Fairy Real?
When the digital dental health conversation centers on children’s oral health or dental care for kids, talk usually revolves around either their innate (it’s learned not genetic) fear of the dentist, candy coated concoction energy drink soda overload, or how kid’s tooth decay is the #1 chronic childhood disease in America.
Not so with this enthralling installment of Dental Patient News…
Today we settle the dental scope on none other than Caraboose: The Tooth Fairy Moose.
Is this Caraboose training his crosshairs on our children’s teeth for profit, or is he simply an unknowing kind-hearted shill of sorts?
SPOILER ALERT!
We’re going to burst your bubble here…it seems there are actually multiple tooth fairies. And as it turns out, just like women the world over, once they get together and start yakking it up in a group, it’s tough to break up the party.
Well, things seem to be spinning a little out of control with these so-called tooth fairies…
This brings us to the premise of our story, Caraboose – and how he acts as a substitute tooth fairy when the real tooth fairies apparently have better things to do.
Yes it’s true; this speakeasy gaggle of tooth fairies is off, not busily collecting children’s lost teeth and diligently doling out under-the-pillow gifts to unknowing children, no.
This intergalactic gang of tooth toting trollops has been seen buzzing across the social dental stratosphere.
Whether this informal organization of jet-setting gypsies gathers for chocolate conventions in Belgium or flies in to unwind and weekend off the coast of Venezuela – as both have been reported in this children’s dental health publication – one thing they are not doing is collecting our children’s lost teeth.
That’s right!
Parents actually have Caraboose the (substitute) Tooth Fairy Moose to thank for the generous gifts bestowed upon our unsuspecting gap-toothed grinning children.
But here’s the best part…the tooth fairies are still collecting all of our children’s teeth!
So these fairies in name only get all the accolades, along with the extorted kid’s dental bounty. All while Caraboose diligently and discreetly exchanges these dental treasures for toothy treats or financial rewards our kids are so accustomed to trading with the so-called ‘Tooth Fairy’!
This toothy faction of fairies sure have some racket going…first they extort a poor unknowing Moose Caribou hybrid whose Boone & Crockett rack is larger than his jelly bean brain into doing all of their work. Then they actually have the unmitigated gall to proclaim their prominence and horde their calcium enriched dentine bounties all to themselves.
What does Caraboose get for all of his labor?
Zip, zilch, zero. We haven’t even determined who actually is paying for these teeth – working the under the pillow exchange that is, either in the form of currency or candy or craft. For all we know it could all be the work of Caraboose.
Despite their diminutive size this carefree gang of ruthless tooth toting fairies tromps around the world extorting animals and preying upon our children’s teeth, all to pay for this lavish elegantly appointed Laissez-faire lifestyle.
And just what are these fairies doing with all of the teeth?
Rumor has it Dateline might be doing a story on this explicitly lurid not so tidy tooth trade, keep your eyes and ears to the social dental airwaves and report these strong-arming tooth fairies if you happen to come across one traipsing down the Champs-Élysées or draping themselves across some Caribbean beach patio piano bar.
Next time you promise your child a visit from the tooth fairy, think about Caraboose…then sidle up next to them at bedtime with a copy of Caraboose: The Tooth Fairy Moose
They can handle the tooth truth!
In all seriousness…
Caraboose: The Tooth Fairy Moose
Tune in next week for our interview with Lynn Swanson, author of Caraboose: The Tooth Fairy Moose
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